"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Bill Cosby on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Bill Cosby on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Bill Cosby on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Bill Cosby on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Bill Cosby on Elbert Hubbard
"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries."
"The heart of marriage is memories and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods."
"Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them."
"Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made."
"Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework."