"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."Bill Maher on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."Bill Maher on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."Bill Maher on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."Bill Maher on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."Bill Maher on John Lennon
"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'"
"This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution."
"Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable."
"Men are only as loyal as their options."
"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease."