"Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time."
"Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present."Billy Connolly on Roger Babson
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."Billy Connolly on Abraham Lincoln
"Lost time is never found again."Billy Connolly on Benjamin Franklin
"Patience and time do more than strength or passion."Billy Connolly on Jean de La Fontaine
"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."Billy Connolly on C. S. Lewis
"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."
"Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day."
"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."
"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."
"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."