"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."
"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely."Billy Connolly on Albert Einstein
"Alone we can do so little together we can do so much."Billy Connolly on Helen Keller
"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone."Billy Connolly on Marilyn Monroe
"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for it is better to be alone than in bad company."Billy Connolly on George Washington
"I restore myself when I'm alone."Billy Connolly on Marilyn Monroe
"Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day."
"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."
"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."
"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."
"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."