"The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast."
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."Bob Hope on Abraham Lincoln
"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."Bob Hope on Winston Churchill
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."Bob Hope on Robert A. Heinlein
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."Bob Hope on Sigmund Freud
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."Bob Hope on Josh Billings
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money."
"A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live."