"I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Bob Newhart on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Bob Newhart on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Bob Newhart on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Bob Newhart on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Bob Newhart on Elbert Hubbard
"Funny is funny is funny."
"I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do."
"I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable."
"I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much."
"I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage."