"I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do."
"It might be said now that I have the best of both worlds. A Harvard education and a Yale degree."Bob Newhart on John F. Kennedy
"God will not look you over for medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars."Bob Newhart on Elbert Hubbard
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."Bob Newhart on Robert Orben
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."Bob Newhart on Erma Bombeck
"Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know."Bob Newhart on T. S. Eliot
"Funny is funny is funny."
"I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line."
"I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable."
"I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much."
"I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage."