"I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy."
"A joke is a very serious thing."Bob Uecker on Winston Churchill
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."Bob Uecker on Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."Bob Uecker on William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."Bob Uecker on Mahatma Gandhi
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."Bob Uecker on Henry Ward Beecher
"The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud."
"I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once."
"I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed."