"I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness."
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."Carl Hiaasen on Leo Buscaglia
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."Carl Hiaasen on Dr. Seuss
"Look back, and smile on perils past."Carl Hiaasen on Walter Scott
"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness."Carl Hiaasen on William Arthur Ward
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."Carl Hiaasen on Phyllis Diller
"One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb."
"My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox."
"Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines."
"Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject."
"From my experience, politicians are much more uncomfortable being made fun of than they are being preached at and screeched at - you know, and the soapbox routine. They're much more uneasy knowing they're a target of ridicule."