"Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject."
"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."Carl Hiaasen on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent."Carl Hiaasen on Buddha
"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."Carl Hiaasen on Albert Einstein
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."Carl Hiaasen on Mark Twain
"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see."Carl Hiaasen on Helen Keller
"One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb."
"My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox."
"Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines."
"From my experience, politicians are much more uncomfortable being made fun of than they are being preached at and screeched at - you know, and the soapbox routine. They're much more uneasy knowing they're a target of ridicule."
"I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something."