"I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."Carol Burnett on Mark Twain
"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."Carol Burnett on Henry Ford
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."Carol Burnett on Mark Twain
"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."Carol Burnett on Kurt Vonnegut
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."Carol Burnett on Robert Frost
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
"Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own."
"My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away."
"You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself."
"But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh."