"We don't stop going to school when we graduate."
"It might be said now that I have the best of both worlds. A Harvard education and a Yale degree."Carol Burnett on John F. Kennedy
"God will not look you over for medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars."Carol Burnett on Elbert Hubbard
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."Carol Burnett on Robert Orben
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."Carol Burnett on Erma Bombeck
"Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know."Carol Burnett on T. S. Eliot
"I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today."
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
"Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own."
"My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away."
"You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself."