"Mammograms are really sort of a gift. You can either catch something early or count your lucky stars because nothing was discovered. Either way, you're ahead of the game."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."Charlotte Ross on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."Charlotte Ross on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."Charlotte Ross on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."Charlotte Ross on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."Charlotte Ross on Erma Bombeck