"Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Chevy Chase on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Chevy Chase on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Chevy Chase on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Chevy Chase on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Chevy Chase on Elbert Hubbard
"I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem."
"Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else."
"All my children inherited perfect pitch."
"A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me."
"I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good."