"Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet."
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."Chuck Palahniuk on Abraham Lincoln
"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."Chuck Palahniuk on Winston Churchill
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."Chuck Palahniuk on Robert A. Heinlein
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."Chuck Palahniuk on Sigmund Freud
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."Chuck Palahniuk on Josh Billings
"Do you remember when you were 10 or 11 years old and you really thought your folks were the best? They were completely omniscient and you took their word for everything. And then you got older and you went through this hideous age when suddenly they were the devil, they were bullies, and they didn't know anything."
"People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scared of being alone."
"Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?"
"The most boring scenes are the scenes where a character is alone."
"If anything I try to write something that would be more difficult to film. I tend to see film as competition and would like instead to do what books do best."