"We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Colin Mochrie on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Colin Mochrie on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Colin Mochrie on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Colin Mochrie on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Colin Mochrie on Elbert Hubbard
"Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises."
"When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage."