"Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles."
"A joke is a very serious thing."Colin Quinn on Winston Churchill
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."Colin Quinn on Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."Colin Quinn on William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."Colin Quinn on Mahatma Gandhi
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."Colin Quinn on Henry Ward Beecher
"The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests."
"I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it."
"That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky."
"He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be."
"You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it."