"I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows."
"Film spectators are quiet vampires."Colin Quinn on Jim Morrison
"Am I a romantic? I've seen 'Wuthering Heights' ten times. I'm a romantic."Colin Quinn on Johnny Depp
"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."Colin Quinn on Steve Martin
"This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country."Colin Quinn on Clint Eastwood
"Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood."Colin Quinn on Walt Disney
"The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests."
"I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it."
"That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky."
"He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be."
"You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it."