Quotes by Craig Ferguson
- I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now.
- I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
- I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'
- I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.
- I realized women and humor were linked very closely.
- I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.
- I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.
- I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
- If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.
- It's like, it's kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that's my show. It's a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it.
- It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure.
- It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy.
- The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.
- Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.