"I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere."
"Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be."Dane Cook on Angelina Jolie
"If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you'll be amazed at the results."Dane Cook on George S. Patton
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."Dane Cook on Harry S. Truman
"If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you."Dane Cook on Les Brown
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."Dane Cook on Conan O'Brien
"Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there."
"I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up."
"Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince."
"My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare."
"My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor."