"For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended."
"Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances."Dave Attell on Thomas Jefferson
"Rather be dead than cool."Dave Attell on Kurt Cobain
"All women do have a different sense of sexuality, or sense of fun, or sense of like what's sexy or cool or tough."Dave Attell on Angelina Jolie
"Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes."Dave Attell on Walt Whitman
"It's really kind of cool to have solar panels on your roof."Dave Attell on Bill Gates
"I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool."
"I never wanted to be famous."
"I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous."
"I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me."
"I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on."