"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."Dave Barry on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."Dave Barry on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."Dave Barry on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."Dave Barry on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."Dave Barry on John Lennon
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers."
"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number."
"It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money."
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
"Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes."