"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."Dave Barry on Emo Philips
"Computers are like Old Testament gods lots of rules and no mercy."Dave Barry on Joseph Campbell
"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."Dave Barry on Stephen Hawking
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."Dave Barry on Pablo Picasso
"I think it's fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we've ever created. They're tools of communication, they're tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user."Dave Barry on Bill Gates
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers."
"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number."
"It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money."
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
"Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes."