"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."
"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."Dave Barry on e. e. cummings
"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up."Dave Barry on John C. Maxwell
"As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too."Dave Barry on Johnny Depp
"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."Dave Barry on Fran Lebowitz
"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."Dave Barry on Bryan White
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers."
"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number."
"It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money."
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
"Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes."