"Doctors coin money when they do procedures but family medicine doesn't have any procedures."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."David Jones on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."David Jones on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."David Jones on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."David Jones on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."David Jones on Erma Bombeck