"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
"Be thankful for what you have you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."David Letterman on Oprah Winfrey
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."David Letterman on Jon Stewart
"The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest."David Letterman on William Blake
"Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse."David Letterman on Henry Van Dyke
"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."David Letterman on Erma Bombeck
"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
"There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing."
"I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host."
"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."