"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."David Letterman on Mark Twain
"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."David Letterman on Albert Einstein
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."David Letterman on Colin Powell
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."David Letterman on Dale Carnegie
"If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance."David Letterman on Abraham Lincoln
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
"There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing."
"I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host."
"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"