"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."
"The empires of the future are the empires of the mind."David Letterman on Winston Churchill
"Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."David Letterman on Oscar Wilde
"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."David Letterman on Steve Jobs
"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."David Letterman on Albert Einstein
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."David Letterman on William Shakespeare
"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
"There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing."
"I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host."
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"