"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations."
"True art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist."David Sedaris on Albert Einstein
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."David Sedaris on Vincent Van Gogh
"The highest art is always the most religious, and the greatest artist is always a devout person."David Sedaris on Abraham Lincoln
"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."David Sedaris on Aristotle
"A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament."David Sedaris on Oscar Wilde
"It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'"
"I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out."
"My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining."
"I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended."
"What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny."