"Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself."
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."David Sedaris on Marcus Aurelius
"Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either."David Sedaris on Albert Einstein
"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth."David Sedaris on Buddha
"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."David Sedaris on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."David Sedaris on Winston Churchill
"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations."
"It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'"
"I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out."
"My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining."
"I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended."