"I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out."
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."David Sedaris on Maya Angelou
"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."David Sedaris on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."David Sedaris on Reinhold Niebuhr
"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."David Sedaris on Barack Obama
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."David Sedaris on Mahatma Gandhi
"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations."
"It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'"
"My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining."
"I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended."
"What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny."