"I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended."
"I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future."David Sedaris on LaToya Jackson
"If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher."David Sedaris on Abdul Kalam
"Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."David Sedaris on David Ogden Stiers
"The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege."David Sedaris on Charles Kuralt
"Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."David Sedaris on Margaret Mead
"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations."
"It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'"
"I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out."
"My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining."
"What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny."