"When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard."
"A joke is a very serious thing."David Sedaris on Winston Churchill
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."David Sedaris on Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."David Sedaris on William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."David Sedaris on Mahatma Gandhi
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."David Sedaris on Henry Ward Beecher
"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations."
"It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'"
"I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out."
"My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining."
"I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended."