"I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."Dennis Miller on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."Dennis Miller on Mark Twain
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."Dennis Miller on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."Dennis Miller on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."Dennis Miller on Henry David Thoreau
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
"I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life."
"The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country."
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
"The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood."