"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."Dennis Miller on William Shakespeare
"For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth."Dennis Miller on Bo Bennett
"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."Dennis Miller on Stephen King
"Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks."Dennis Miller on Isaac Watts
"Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement."Dennis Miller on Golda Meir
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
"I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life."
"The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country."
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
"The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood."