"I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Don Rickles on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Don Rickles on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Don Rickles on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Don Rickles on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Don Rickles on Elbert Hubbard
"When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last."
"You can't study comedy it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude."
"You know what's funny to me? Attitude."
"Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed."
"Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?"