"I would never kill a living thing, although I probably have inadvertently while driving automobiles."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Don Van Vliet on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Don Van Vliet on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Don Van Vliet on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Don Van Vliet on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Don Van Vliet on Steven Wright
"But I have been in some very beautiful churches, then I've looked outside and seen people starving to death."
"Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't."
"When I see a dolphin, I know it's just as smart as I am."
"I don't even know what sound is, much less what it's for. It isn't to make money that's for sure. I've never made any."