"Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Don Van Vliet on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Don Van Vliet on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Don Van Vliet on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Don Van Vliet on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Don Van Vliet on Elbert Hubbard
"I would never kill a living thing, although I probably have inadvertently while driving automobiles."
"But I have been in some very beautiful churches, then I've looked outside and seen people starving to death."
"When I see a dolphin, I know it's just as smart as I am."
"I don't even know what sound is, much less what it's for. It isn't to make money that's for sure. I've never made any."