"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything."
"A wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government, and this is necessary to close the circlue of our felicities."Drew Carey on Thomas Jefferson
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."Drew Carey on Winston Churchill
"I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country."Drew Carey on Thomas Jefferson
"Government is not reason it is not eloquent it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."Drew Carey on George Washington
"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil in its worst state, an intolerable one."Drew Carey on Thomas Paine
"Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test."
"Nothing's funny about someone who's successful."
"TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over."
"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed."
"There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it."