"Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal."
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead."Eddie Izzard on Oscar Wilde
"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."Eddie Izzard on Ronald Reagan
"It's difficult to believe that people are still starving in this country because food isn't available."Eddie Izzard on Ronald Reagan
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."Eddie Izzard on Yogi Berra
"Beware the hobby that eats."Eddie Izzard on Benjamin Franklin
"I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear."
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from."
"Never put a sock in a toaster."
"I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing."
"So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!"