"I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."Eddie Izzard on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."Eddie Izzard on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."Eddie Izzard on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."Eddie Izzard on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."Eddie Izzard on John Lennon
"I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear."
"Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal."
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from."
"Never put a sock in a toaster."
"I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing."