"Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Ellen DeGeneres on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Ellen DeGeneres on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Ellen DeGeneres on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Ellen DeGeneres on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Ellen DeGeneres on Elbert Hubbard
"My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher power and an intelligence that's bigger than us and that we can rely on. It's not just us, thinking we are the ones in control of everything. That idea gives me support."
"Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture."
"Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values."
"Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule."
"When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me."