"So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Emily Mortimer on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Emily Mortimer on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Emily Mortimer on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Emily Mortimer on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Emily Mortimer on Elbert Hubbard
"I decided to give acting a serious, committed try, and soon after, I read the script for 'Lovely and Amazing.' The story was beautiful and honest, and the characters struggled with the same insecurities many women - including me - face. I didn't think I had a chance in hell of being in the film, but I knew I had to go for it."
"I was terribly shy when I was growing up, I really wasn't confident with other people and I think I was always afraid of up or not being this very cool, amazing person that I wanted to be."
"My dad had this philosophy that if you tell children they're beautiful and wonderful then they believe it, and they will be. So I never thought I was unattractive. But I was never one of the girls at school who had lots of boyfriends."
"Los Angeles is like a beauty parlor at the end of the universe."
"I borrowed my friend's car the other day in an attempt to persuade my husband that we needed a car and literally this is true, in the first day of borrowing the car, I got three tickets and I rear-ended it."