"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day."Emo Philips on Dalai Lama
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."Emo Philips on Marcus Aurelius
"Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening."Emo Philips on Mahatma Gandhi
"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."Emo Philips on Mark Twain
"Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it."Emo Philips on Kevyn Aucoin
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."