"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."Erma Bombeck on Voltaire
"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."Erma Bombeck on Oprah Winfrey
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."Erma Bombeck on Jim Valvano
"I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity."Erma Bombeck on Eleanor Roosevelt
"The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance."Erma Bombeck on Brian Tracy
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
"Never have more children than you have car windows."