"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'"
"Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present."Erma Bombeck on Roger Babson
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."Erma Bombeck on Abraham Lincoln
"Lost time is never found again."Erma Bombeck on Benjamin Franklin
"Patience and time do more than strength or passion."Erma Bombeck on Jean de La Fontaine
"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."Erma Bombeck on C. S. Lewis
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."