"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."
"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."Erma Bombeck on John F. Kennedy
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself."Erma Bombeck on Mark Twain
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."Erma Bombeck on Plato
"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand."Erma Bombeck on Milton Friedman
"It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything."Erma Bombeck on Joseph Stalin
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."