"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
"To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him."Erma Bombeck on Buddha
"A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone."Erma Bombeck on Billy Graham
"We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves."Erma Bombeck on Henry Ward Beecher
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."Erma Bombeck on Sigmund Freud
"Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride."Erma Bombeck on Ron Taffel
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."