"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."Erma Bombeck on Mark Twain
"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."Erma Bombeck on Albert Einstein
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."Erma Bombeck on Colin Powell
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."Erma Bombeck on Dale Carnegie
"If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance."Erma Bombeck on Abraham Lincoln
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
"Never have more children than you have car windows."