"Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother."
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."Erma Bombeck on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Experience is not what happens to you it's what you do with what happens to you."Erma Bombeck on Aldous Huxley
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."Erma Bombeck on Audrey Hepburn
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest Second, by imitation, which is easiest and third by experience, which is the bitterest."Erma Bombeck on Confucius
"If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."Erma Bombeck on Michael Jordan
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."